Pride. And more pride.
I have prided myself in allowing my children to be who they are and to have their own interests, likes, and dislikes. This has been particularly easy with Alex since he is so like me, but I thought I was doing a good job of it with Sarah, too. This big pat on the back took a fall today when Sarah's less-than-stellar behavior in her catechism class embarrassed me before some other moms and a priest whom I respect. That, in and of itself, is nothing important and has happened to probably every mom in existence. The problem came when I got mad at Sarah for behavior that she probably couldn't help. I got mad because she "made me look bad." I got mad because of my pride, and because she wasn't being who I wanted her to be.
Sarah is a very physical child who is always on the move. In addition, she's only five. In retrospect, it isn't reasonable to expect her to sit still for an hour in a class that is usually more complex than she's capable of "getting" right now. Since her behavior didn't seem to be willful, anger is the wrong response, and I'm feeling suitably chastened. Following Christ can be so hard for me at times.
Comments
Hi Lisa:
I'm enjoying reading your blog. Never had the guts to try one myself. Anyway, I struggle with the anger thing myself, but more on the impatience side. I barked at Victoria this morning for speaking too softly in the bathroom and making me ask her "what" over and over. A small thing, but could have been handled with more grace.
I have been trying to hand over my perfectionism to the Lord as it drives me and everyone else crazy. It is amazing what the Holy Spirit will convict you of when you think you are doing so well in the "sin" department. Anyway, we've all been where you were with Sarah...our kids CAN be embarrassing sometimes!Keep the musings coming, I enjoy them.
Betsy
Posted by: Betsy Cuthbertson | February 3, 2006 9:12 AM
Ah, well, it never hurts to hear someone else dealing with the same challenges! Thanks for the understanding support, and thanks for letting me know that someone actually reads this stuff! Someone other than my own mom, that is. :-> Still, even if no one else reads it, the writing helps me reflect on our lives. Plus I now have a record of Alex racing around the house as the Nutcracker.
Posted by: Lisa Roberts | February 3, 2006 10:20 AM